I just improvised an entire dance routine to “We Both Reached for the Gun” and with Tyler as my witness, it was the best thing ever.

*awkwardly stares at my own reflection in the plumbing of the urinal and not your cock*

My lineage is traced back to Filipino Royalty… So bow down bitches

I literally cannot start my day until after I’ve scrolled through my dash and saw the last thing from the day before.

I’ve been scrolling for close to an hour and a half now and all I want to do is watch porn and study for class, but I can’t because I’M STILL SCROLLING

I really need to figure out what the fuck my hair is doing. It looks like shit. I look like shit. I am nothing without my hairdo.